


built to fall apart

by mcmeekin



Series: bruises [4]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers S.P.D.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 14:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4567965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcmeekin/pseuds/mcmeekin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>B-Squad falls apart, one promotion at a time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	built to fall apart

**Author's Note:**

> warning: so like a major plot point of this is that z gets injured and is on painkillers so if medication or painkillers or like...intoxication? (for want of a better word) is a Thing for you please steer clear of this. thanks.

_Children don’t yet understand the concept of object impermanence._

The phrase has been turning itself over and over again inside her head since they gave her the medicine. They warned her before she took it that it might bring back random memories for no apparent reason. They were wrong; she knows the reason for this memory.

Mr. Sherman was Jack’s favorite cadet instructor, despite the fact that Jack was never instructed as a cadet. Jack would always poke his head into Mr. Sherman’s office on the way to breakfast to say good morning.

Until the day Mr. Sherman retired.

“He _what_?” Jack exclaimed at breakfast that day. Sky was the bearer of bad news after Jack had whirled in asking where Mr. Sherman was.

“Retired, Jack. People do that. They retire when they get older,” Sky explained patiently, not really looking up from his food. “Nobody stays at SPD forever.”

“I just can’t believe it,” Jack said, shaking his head.

Sky did look up then, raising his eyebrows at Jack. “Really? Figures. _Children_ don’t yet understand the concept of object impermanence.”

Z turned to Syd at that and mock-whispered, “Did Sky just…make a joke?”

Syd shrugged, fake bewilderment plastered on her face. “We… We need to get this out to the media right away. I can see the headlines now. ‘BREAKING: Robots actually _can_ appreciate humor.”

Bridge then, of course, chipped in with facts about robots that actually _could_ feel a small range of human emotion, and the conversation derailed from there.

It’s not the conversation itself that sticks out to her now, though. Just Sky’s phrase. _Children don’t yet understand the concept of object impermanence._

She’s sure that it’s why she came down here to stare at SPD’s nursery in the early hours of the morning. Because she feels like a child again. A child who does not understand that no one stays in one place forever.

“Z?” she hears from behind her. She doesn’t turn, though. Just continues staring through the observation window into the very empty, very dark nursery. The thought of actually facing Sky just now makes her feel weird and unsettled. 

“How’d you find me?” she asks.

“Security cameras,” Sky admits, coming to stand next to her.

She scoffs. “Barely been in command a day, and you’re already abusing your powers.” She shakes her head and makes a disapproving clicking noise with her tongue.

“Checking on my injured teammate is not an abuse of my power,” he argues good-naturedly. “How’s your shoulder?”

She bites down on the words the rise up bitterly to protest, to say _not your teammate anymore_ , and instead wordlessly pulls down her shirt in the front to reveal the bruise that snakes its way around from her back across her shoulder to her chest. He whistles. “That one belongs in the hall of fame.”

“Syd’s already documented it,” she comments idly. “Apparently I have massive internal bleeding that’ll take a week to solve itself, and I am under no circumstances to leave the infirmary until then.”

“Ah. So, is that where we are now? The infirmary?” He sounds almost like he’s going to smile.

She raises an eyebrow at the glass. “You gonna tell on me?”

“I’m base commander. Who would I tell on you _to_?”

She snorts. “It’s the doctors’ fault, anyway. Damn medicine makes me nostalgic.” Out of the corner of her eye she sees him look at her, a question hanging in his gaze. She takes pity on him and explains, “When I was really little, before my powers started manifesting, my parents still worked for SPD as techs. I was down here until I was old enough to start school, and even then I would still be here on weekends. But they quit after I started multiplying without warning.” His gaze has become more intense, and she shifts under it. Uncomfortable, she finally turns to look at him too. “What?” she asks, almost defensive.

“I was down here every Saturday from age three until my father died.” His gaze flickers to the dark room, and he points to the far corner. “I sat there and played with Legos.”

She stares at him, blinking slowly as she processes this. Then, suddenly, she laughs, an absurd memory coming back to her. “I destroyed your castle.”

Sky looks back at her, confused. “I built a castle?”

“Yes, and you kept calling it a ‘fortress’ so I destroyed it to prove that it wasn’t very strong. I think we were about six at the time?” She can’t seem to stop grinning. Probably because she can now picture what Sky looked like as a kid.

He shakes his head. “I don’t remember that.”

“You stole my bubbles in retaliation, if that helps.”

Something like realization dawns in his eyes, and she laughs again. He looks down at her, a smile of his own twisting on his lips. “Oh, you think this is funny?”

“We knew each other as kids and never realized; I think this is hilarious.” Another laugh escapes her. “I can’t wait to tell Jack that I’ve known you longer than him. He’ll die.” Now that she remembers Sky being in the nursery, she recalls more moments when she saw him in that corner. She wonders if maybe she hadn’t wandered down here because of the words repeating in her head, but rather the voice.

Sky looks away from her, into the dark room, his grin slowly fading into a small smile. “It’s good to hear your laugh again.” He says it almost like he can’t help himself.

Her own smile disappears at his words. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs, still not looking at her. “You haven’t laughed a lot since Jack left.”

He’s right, so he doesn’t say anything, just folds her arms and looks into the room with him.

Then, quietly. “Why did you pass on the promotion that day?”

She shrugs. “It felt wrong, wearing something other than yellow.”

He glances at her. “Colors don’t mean much besides rank at SPD.”

“Yeah, well. Green’s Bridge’s color. And blue will always be yours.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t have a color. Not anymore.”

She doesn’t really know what to say to that, so she says, sort of defensively, “Syd passed on the promotion, too. And she immediately passed on the second promotion this morning when you got moved up. I, at least, said I’d think about it. Her motives are even murkier than mine; go question her instead of me.”

Sky makes a dismissive motion with his hand. “Syd won’t accept a promotion until she can jump straight to red.”

Z tilts her head. “How do you know?”

“Cool colors wash her out.”

She stares at him incredulously before barking out a laugh. “I’m telling her you said that.”

“That’s what she told me!” he exclaims defensively.

“Yeah, whatever, Mr. 'My Haircut Costs More Than Jack's Rent',” Z says, rolling her eyes.

“One time!" he protests. "Seriously, though. Your promotion,” he says, getting the conversation back on track. “I think you should take it.”

She looks away again, her smile dying. “Why?”

“Why not? You’re a good ranger. And you’d be an excellent second-in-command, especially to Bridge. And I don’t want to make another new cadet green. Have you thought about the promotion at all?”

She turns her head to stare at the other wall. “I’ve been a little busy, you know, with getting knocked around by a rogue bounty hunter and all that.”

“You were the one that went in with no backup,” he mutters.

“I had no backup to call,” she snaps. “Syd was at the robbery, Bridge was responding to that kidnapping, and New Guy was 'too busy'.”

Sky sighs. “You have to start calling him by his real name eventually, you know.”

“I don’t have to do bullshit.” She glares at Sky accusingly. “What was Doggie thinking anyway, putting a tool like that on our team?” She shakes her head and continues before he has the chance to answer. “Whatever; the point is, B-Squad is stretched thin. I said I’d think about the promotion. And you told Kat that you’d think about remaking A-Squad.”

It’s his turn to look away. “I know. I have.”

He doesn’t continue so she raises her eyebrows. “Well?”

Still not meeting her eyes, he shrugs. “I told Kat that it was a good idea, and that I’d start accepting applications tomorrow morning.”

His words feel worse than the blow that gave her the bruise. She goes quiet and still. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

He shrugs defensively. “I was busy, and you were hurt. And you just said B-Squad was stretched thin. It’s a good idea.”

She stands there silently, staring at him for a minute before drawing herself up a little taller and clasping her hands behind her back. “Well then, Commander Tate, it _is_ technically morning, so I would like to formally put my resume in for consideration, sir.”

He finally looks at her. “What?”

“I’d like to be considered for a position on A-Squad, sir.”

He gestures impatiently. “Shut up with the sir shit. You want a transfer?”

“I want a real promotion.” He’s looking at her like he doesn’t know her, which makes her feel reckless and angry and words tumble out of her before she can stop them. “I want to stop expecting to see you every time Bridge demorphs. I want that damn green that Cruger stuck with us to stop looking at Syd and me like we’re beneath him just because he technically outranks us. I want…” Her voice wavers, and she hates herself a little bit. “God, I want so much, Sky. But mostly I want to stop pretending like we’re still a family when we’re not.”

He looks a little lost, a little broken. “You don’t mean that, Z.”

“We haven’t been a family since Jack left, and you know it. But I just…” She’s nearly crying, she realizes, which is just unendingly embarrassing. “I knew it was coming, Jack leaving, so I convinced myself it was all right. And I’ve just been deluding myself this whole damn time, thinking that it’s gonna be okay, but then Doggie— He wasn’t supposed to leave us. _You_ weren’t supposed to leave us.”

She can’t really bear the embarrassment anymore so she turns, putting her back to the glass, and slides down to the floor. If she’s going to cry, she’s not going to do it facing him.

He stays standing for a few minutes then, surprisingly, he settles down on the floor next to her. She doesn’t know how long they sit there in silence, just that she eventually runs out of tears.

When she’s pretty sure her voice won’t wobble, she mutters, “Damn painkillers.”

“Let’s go to Jack’s tonight,” Sky says by way of reply, and she appreciates that he's just going to ignore her sob-fest just now. “All of us. Pretend it’s like old times again.”

She stares at him blankly, his words taking a minute to register. “It’s two in the morning.”

“You know Jack hasn’t gone to bed yet.”

“B-Squad is technically on duty right now. _And_ tomorrow morning.”

“So what?”

Her eyes widen comically, and she places a hand over her heart. “I cannot believe that it took you becoming base commander to finally pull that stick out of your ass.” She shakes her head and clucks disapprovingly with her tongue before sighing, like she’s resigned herself to something. “All right; lead on, my fearless comrade.”

He grins and offers his hand to her. She takes it, and he helps her up. They walk in silence for several moments, vaguely in the direction of the dorms to retrieve their two other teammates.

Eventually, she says, her voice low, “You’re right; I didn’t mean it.”

He shrugs. “You were right, too. It’ll never be the same as it was.”

“I was serious about the A-Squad thing though,” she adds.

Sky nods. “I think it’s a good idea for you to apply. All the new recruits will need an experienced ranger to help them along.” A pause, then, “But if you ever say that I have a stick up my ass in front of the new cadets, I’m firing you on the spot.”

She glances at him sideways, smiling hesitantly. “Are nicknames off limits too?”

“Yes.”

“Damn. Bridge and I have been making a list for people to vote on their top ten favorites. I personally think ‘Sky High and Twice as Pretty’ is a _classic_ , but Bridge says you have to hear the full story behind that one to really appreciate it, to which _I_ said that I’d be happy to tell everyone on base—”

“You’re also not allowed to tell stories about me.”

“But ‘Drunk Karaoke with the President’s Daughter on a Plane’ deserves to be immortalized in SPD cadet legend forever!”

He sighs the kind of sigh she recognizes as code for ‘I’m amused, but I disapprove of what’s happening on principle so I'm not gonna laugh’. “Have I told you how much I hate you today?”

She pretends to think about it seriously. “Not since noon.”

“I hate you.”

She pats his shoulder reassuringly. “I know, baby blue. I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> the painkiller-spiration was based on the experiences of me and a friend who both had surgery around the same time. the painkillers removed all my filters and made me remember random shit that happened years ago and made my friend super randomly emotional and nostalgic. so if that wasn't your experience with painkillers...uh...blame it on the future setting? cool.


End file.
